"We Need Better Stories..."

... explained a Hollywood studio exec when asked why so many technically stunning movies are box office flops.”

The same is true for advertising. Memorable, successful campaigns begin with an insightful story and original content. Yet so many ‘marketers’ are reluctant to expend the time, creative thought and effort needed to tell moving, mythic stories... preferring to spend their money on style, not substance.

Wrong from the start.

Story comes first. Without it you have nothing new to offer... nothing to advertise. Consumers will ignore you. “I have facts,” you say. “My product is the best.” Neither really matters if your story is old, dull, boring, unbelievable or non-existent.

When you tell an authentic, evocative story you’ve captured the essence of intelligent marketing. You entertain, intrigue and remake the relationship between the product and the consumer. Then take advantage of digital technologies, social media platforms, to get your original content into unexpected places, make the idea contagious (an ‘idea virus’ as Seth Godin calls it) and you’re light years ahead of the ‘me-too’ crowd.

Of course, strong images and a good design are vitally important... but you can’t really sell with images alone (there are exceptions); conversely,  a good writer can sell a product with just a few paragraphs on a blank sheet of paper.

If you don’t understand this self-evident fact, you have my sympathies (and fast-talking agencies will have spent your money on a beautifully ineffective piece of creative).

Here’s the reality: the days of dictating to consumers are over. The rise of social media, the decline of traditional media’s ROI and an increasingly cynical public (with less money to spend) have radically altered how and why an idea gains traction.

What doesn’t change? The need to stand out... the need to create a new category and dominate it... the need to start with an honest narrative. If you understand the difference between a captivating story and just another silly, intrusive ad... you're chances of success will grow exponentially.

Gold Coins, Math and Why Outrageous Claims Are OK for L’Oreal and Dior but Not Direct Response

A friend of mine pointed something out concerning a ‘gold clad’ coin offer he’d seen on TV.

The coin is ‘clad in gold', gold I tell you ---- .999999999 pure. My friend, a Ph.D., no less, does the math. Given the area of the coin, there’s no more than 1/2000 of an ounce of gold. Yes, let me spell it out, one two-thousandths of an ounce. Even at $1,500 an ounce (approximate value of gold at the time of this writing), that’s about 75 cents worth of gold on the coin.

And you can get this wonderful ‘investment’ for just $15. The old DR rule of thumb comes into play: charge at least 10 times product cost, packaging included. These guys must have another quarter in the coin itself and then 50 cents to package.

As I keep saying: these spurious products poison the water for all of us. It’s getting to the point where you couldn’t give away dollar bills via DR because no one believes a thing we say.

But then again…

Cosmetics from iconic brands like L’Oreal or Dior or Olay aren’t marketed any better, more honestly, are they? Imagine selling a cream that costs $5 in the tube for $135.00. I did that, I’ll admit it; and cosmetics companies do it everyday of the week. But at least they do it with some style, panache, story, exquisite packaging and first rate service that must count for something.

At the risk of being crude, at least they kiss you before they…

I’m conflicted. If Estee Lauder and Clinique can sell miracle face creams for 20X to 40X cost, why can’t I sell a miracle salad spinner via DRTV, or a gold-clad coin, for that matter, without appearing sleazy and having the FTC on my case?

The history of DR works against us, I think.

Here’s a test. How many cosmetics have you used or purchased (men and women) that actually met your expectations? I can think of a few right off the bat:

• Original Rachel Perry -- great stuff
• The yellow Clinique moisturizer in the glass bottle
• Shaving cream from Wild Oats -- Kiss My Face
• Queen Helene mask -- from the 1930s, I swear
• St. Ives apricot seed scrub -- not as good as the original, but still good
• Idebinol -- face cream that's off the market, unfortunately

The list goes on and on.

Now, how many DR products have you tried or purchased and have found to work as promised?

• Paint roller – terrible, still finding drops on the floor years after
• Magic Bullet – not too bad, really
• Proactiv (for my teenage children) – no better than a $3 tube of benzoyl peroxide
• Orthotics – waste of time
• Scratch remover for the car – stupid purchase on my part
• Hercules Hooks – sorry, Billy
• Swivel Sweeper – worthless
• Knives from anyone – I have no need to cut a Coke can in half

See a pattern? DR loses credibility because of the products themselves... cheaply made and basically ineffective, and tied to the standard DRTV format that screams rip off. Then add generally poor service… slow shipping, bad return policy, tricky automatic renewals, etc. that destroy any trust between vendor and consumer.

How’s this for a solution... a way out of the DR decline?

• Sell better products
  
• Make sure what you say in the ad copy matches what’s said online (to the best of your ability)… better products should make this easier… and spend some money on social media to defend your products, for goodness sakes
  
• Change the tired DRTV format, for example:

1. Give the actual price upfront
2. Forget BUT WAIT and triple your order tricks
3. Give a full guarantee, shipping and all
4. Avoid the tired Guthy Renker model (or should I say “trusted Guthy Renker”?). Look, they’ve made a lot of money at it, good for them, but GR has burned out the format here in the U.S. (which is why their sales are increasingly coming from other countries)
5. Avoid automatic renewal – the #1 reason why most consumers will not buy anything DR

Any takers? But in all seriousness, if we did these things could we make a profit?