What’s wrong with advertising and agencies? Go Daddy spot says it all

Now that the dust has settled from a mediocre game with very mediocre advertising, and we’ve been inundated with analysis of both, maybe we can see things for what they are.

Simply put: the Go Daddy spot and the analysis that followed, given by ‘advertising and marketing experts,’ together highlight the absurdity of advertising and agencies. Advertising is meant to be part art and part science... isn’t that what we tell ourselves and our clients? These past few days we’ve seen the man behind the curtain and he ain’t pretty or smart.

A few very clear observations we all should have made:

1. The Go Daddy kissing spot was weak by any measure: not very creative, not well done, average at best. Here’s one way you know this -- all the hype the agency put out about the ad prior to the game tells you that they knew it was ho-hum. They built up the ‘45 minutes of kissing’ with a supermodel in hopes of getting the audience to ‘understand’ the coolness of the concept.
 Even more telling, a spokesperson for Go Daddy reported the highest level of phone calls ever during the 24-hours after the ad ran. But s/he wouldn't release any numbers (telling those of us in the industry that this is a little white PR lie).

2. The audacity of some ‘experts’ to claim that, “since we’re still talking about the ad it was successful” is damn nonsense. This is the excuse that advertising losers use to keep their jobs and validate their salaries. If, as an industry, we can’t universally ‘condemn’ the ad for being boring, trite and unimaginative (or better yet, a waste of money) -- then we have no standards by which to judge our work. Rather, we are shysters hiding behind a concept of ‘creativity’ that’s as simplistic as saying, “anything that stands out is good.” If that’s the case, then any 10-year-old can be an ad executive or run an agency.


3. Look, it’s essential to stand out, but that alone is nothing more than being a carnival barker. And for any agency to claim success based on this lowest common denominator is ludicrous. You know, you can ‘stand out’ for being exceptionally stupid or exceptionally crass or exceptionally uninformed. In claiming the lowest ground you are as special as another well-endowed pole dancer in Las Vegas.


4. We either have standards or we’re hacks. Either Picasso is a great artist or his work is no better than any first grader. Either “The Sun Also Rises” is great literature or Barbara Cartland and Ernest Hemingway are just two more pulp fiction writers.


5. Anyone who plays devil’s advocate and claims that “the ad might not have been to your taste but it was successful because we’re still talking about it,” is a fool.

C’mon -- successful executives will tell you that in any meeting you should do something to make your presence known. You don’t want to be anonymous in a room. How, then, to accomplish this? Well, one way would be to prepare for the meeting and ask an intelligent question. Fine. You’ve been remembered. Or you could stand on the table and pull down your pants. That would be very unforgettable. And you’d be a Go Daddy advertising jackass or a partner in Deutsch New York. (The agency is still tap dancing about the ad... rule #1 of PR, never admit you might be wrong.)

NOTE: On one agency site (PPBH) I found this sentence about the Go Daddy ad: “This is the commercial that we all love to hate, but of course can’t help but talk about.” On another site, one ad executive asked if the ad was meant to be 'purposely bad,' and a paradigm of a new style of advertising with built in errors to engage the public.

Do you see what's wrong with agencies?

Bad Direct Response Advertising Is Telling You the Truth... If You Listen

We’ve discussed this several times: how it’s best to show what you mean rather than come out and say it. Remember? “If I say I’m cool, I’m not cool; if others say I’m cool, then I am.”

Understanding this simple difference is essential to telling a good story or writing a good ad.

If we’ll listen closely to most DR ads (because most are poorly written these days), we can find out the REAL truth of a product… this idea is Human Nature 101… we intensify and over-compensate for what we fear.

Recall poor Richard Nixon. During the height of the Watergate scandal he went on TV and proclaimed, “I am not a crook!” Surveys showed that a large number of Americans thought he said, “I am a crook.” In fact, that’s what he REALLY said if you listen. His proclamation to the contrary reinforced the very idea he was trying to eliminate.

Here’s what I mean. Recently, I saw a new DR spot for yet another blond, perky, California trainer with a weight loss and exercise plan. Here are a few sentences from the spot.

“This is not like any other program on the market.” They just told you the truth: this IS like every other plan. They’re afraid you’ll see that, so they shout a disclaimer up-front to appear honest and proactive.

“Mary isn’t your average trainer, she’s Hollywood’s most sought after celebrity fitness expert.” The truth? She has no way to standout from the crowd… she knows it; you know it. Again, a bit of preemptive puffery by the writer is thought to be the solution.

“The music behind her program is a new combination of salsa and hip hop that gets you moving.” The truth? You couldn’t tell one of her exercise songs from any number of Zumba-like programs and she knows it.

You see, these DR spots are telling you the truth… just listen. Every time they claim they’re different (rather than showing the difference), you get the TRUTH that they’re very, very afraid of.

“New Wave DR is unlike any agency you’ve ever seen.”

“Our ads are unique and truly creative.”

“Our service is second to none.”

Blah, blah, blah. Read the above as, “average agency, a bit creative with reluctant customer service.”
 

Left Brain or Right Brain? Stay Right If You Want To Create Mythic, Memorable Marketing

Every once in a while and more often than parents admit, our children teach us things, particularly when they’re grown and have the advantage of a good education. I can say that about both of my children. At times we have conversations that sound like a college classroom. I taught college for a long time and was always lecturing around the house. Now they lecture me to the point that I’m getting headaches trying to keep up.

Here’s the latest revelation.

We were speaking about marketing and advertising and movies and wondered what makes something stick with you… be it a painting, an ad, a joke, a sporting event or just one of life’s random moments?

My argument is usually less scientific, more humanities based, so I’m generally talking about Jungian archetypes and myths: the more mythic an idea, a story, the ‘deeper’ it hits your psychological home and the more likely it will find a place to stick. When a story reaches your archetype you can’t help but pull it in.

My son who is just out of UCLA with an Master’s in Film Production agrees, but thinks it has to do more with right side/left side of the brain. Maybe. After all, it’s common knowledge that the left side is logical and the right side is more intuitive (for right-handed people, of course).

Long story short, after watching Jill Bolte Taylor on TED, she of “Stroke of Insight” fame, he says: “The left side of the brain is ‘me,’ my ideas, my ego, it’s exclusive; while the right side is ‘us’ what unites all humans, what makes us the same… the great ‘Oversoul,’ the universal mind, the collective unconscious.”

I never thought of it quite in those terms.

He continues: “The ‘me’ side of the brain limits information input to only what’s important to me. The left side is full of bullet points. The ‘us’ side, on the other hand, accepts more information; it’s inclusive and pulls in more data so it has a fuller picture of the universe and fills in with a broader, more inclusive brush that adds depth. The right side tells stories.

OK – stay with me. So, the question then becomes, “What makes a master: Bankei, Picasso, Einstein, Muhammad Ali, Hemingway, Godard, or David Ogilvy? Talent and intelligence, sure. But a lot of people are smart as hell and have talent. It’s more than that.

The ‘master’ resides in the right side of the brain, more in the ‘us’ than does the common man. He or she is inclusive and sees unlimited resonant connections… to cultural myths, universal human stories, common symbols and shared fears and joys. That's why a master can write about a female character living in 18th century Madrid and make it stick with you while he sits in 21st century New York. It’s all about what makes us the same. It's 'enlightenment.'

We live, for the most part, in our tightly-focused left, logical world with just a small foray into the right intuitive side. Our daily work is mostly logical. And we need a degree of logic to live. Remember, Taylor’s stroke left her living totally in the right side. She was happy, overjoyed, one with the universe, with heightened senses; yet, she needed help feeding herself.

Problem is, we in America and Western Europe have all but abandoned the intuitive right side and it’s to our demise. The result? We work but feel unfulfilled; we have things but don’t have happiness; we sense something is missing but we don't know what. This was the argument of The Modernists like Pound and Eliot and why Surrealists and Dadaists, (and Lady Gaga, come to think of it) try to blast us out of our rationality. Why Jim Morrison wanted us to break on through to the other side.

Interesting, but what’s the marketing point?

When trying to connect with people – be it through advertising, poetry, novels, art or movies – the ‘master’ tips the balance strongly toward the right side, the intuitive side, the shared experience side.Here's where memorable emotions are made.

The rational side wants to bludgeon people with facts; it wants to win the argument at all costs. The intuitive side simply wants to point out universal truths we may have missed. And when we see these new connections we’re astounded, overwhelmed, sometimes moved to tears… and these ‘revelations’ stay in our psyche.

“The Godfather” sticks while “Maid in Manhattan” does not. “Where’s the beef?” is a phrase known by 300 million Americans, many of whom weren’t born when the old lady made the commercial. But that simple line cut through the rhetorical bull of most advertising and remains a part of contemporary myth and symbolism.

A mythic movie or advertisement literally remakes the relationship between the artist and the viewer, between the consumer and the brand. And this relationship cannot be shaken by all the facts in Wikipedia or the Encyclopedia Britannica.

When you’re writing and trying to evoke a reaction you need to tip the scales strongly to the right side of your brain and lighten up with the left side. Hemingway did. Einstein did. Great athletes do. It's not easy but it is essential.

Remember: You can’t really change anyone’s perceptions until you connect at a deep human level. Facts aren't made to do that.

Let me end with a quote from Mr. Einstein:

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

Or my favorite:

“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.”

Great art, great marketing help reveal the ongoing, universal monomythic miracle. 

("Monomythic?" you ask. "Is that even a word?" Hmmm… you haven’t read your Joyce, have you?)
 

New Wave Marketing 101: Mrs. Romney Used a Narrative Shotgun; Mrs. Obama Used a Laser

Politics aside, Michele Obama’s speech to the Democratic National Convention was brilliant. She was able to paint her husband as the quintessential, mythical American, ‘common man’ hero. And in so doing, she held a metaphorical mirror to Mr. Romney and the reflection was as unflattering as it was clear.

How’d she do it? C’mon, you know the answer is the story she told. And while you can disagree with the politics, you simply cannot ignore the lesson she gave to marketers: there is nothing more powerful than a convincing, moving, compelling, slightly understated narrative.

Here’s what the LA Times said:

The principal narrative of her nationally televised speech was about President Obama’s ability to maintain his ideals, and even his gentle touch as a father, despite the heavy strains of office…

Narrative is the operant word.

Notice, there was not a single mention of facts… the narrative spun a series of images that had nothing to do with facts, per se. If you intensely dislike Mr. Obama, there’s still nothing you can point to in his wife’s speech that was inaccurate… nothing that stretches the truth.

The First Lady had an airtight story grounded in a shared myth and these gave her the focus needed to decide which anecdotes would be included and which would be discarded as off point (and thus, seemingly untrue). In marketing terms, she found her niche message and gently stayed on it until the audience was in tears.

Mrs. Romney, on the other hand, told story after small story but to no real end, or to the overly large end of showing her husband to be kind, generous, one of the guys, caring, smart, witty, a great father, a shrewd businessman, etc. That was too big a task to bite off, so her message was scattered. Consequently, you can’t summarize what she said as succinctly as did the LA Times with Mrs. Obama’s narrative.
 
Ann Romney is an attractive and articulate woman. But her speech was just so much talk show chatter. She had no narrative focus and no way of deciding which stories to include and which to leave out; consequently, she seemed to have told them all, hoping that the totality of her speech would miraculously move the audience.

Here are a few narratives that would have been better for Mrs. Romney. Just pick one – ONE – not all of them.

1.    Mr. Romney was born into privilege but walked away from it to help those who had far less. (Myth of the benevolent aristocrat who, like George Washington, put aside his interests to help fight for his country.)

2.    Mr. Romney used his privilege and power and money to help others in need, and without fanfare or self-gratification. (Myth of the Lone Ranger, when you think of it.)

3.    Mr. Romney used his privilege to educate himself. He studied long and hard so that he could put his knowledge to work in finding new, better ways to improve the lives of others. (Dr. Salk or George Washington Carver.)

4.    Mr. Romney’s background shows a man who understands the plight of blue collar Americans, something he learned at his father’s knee. As president of American Motors, George Romney was very concerned about the life of his workforce. (Myth of the benevolent aristocrat who, for example, pays for the education of his workers’ kids or pays the hospital bills for the gardener’s sick wife.)

Again, pick one.

And whatever you do, don’t use the wrong myth. Why try to paint Mr. Romney as coming from humble beginnings? He’s not Abe Lincoln nor do we expect him to be. We admire wealth and don't care if candidates were born into the upper class. How disingenuous would it have been for JFK to speak in his posh Boston accent about his childhood struggles delivering newspapers on his little bike in the pouring rain?

Kennedy’s narrative was that he was born into wealth and taught that it carries responsibility, which is why he (JFK) went to war, saved a fellow seaman and dedicated his life to serving his fellow Americans after the sacrifice of his older brother.

Bottom line? Mrs. Romney chose the wrong mythical backdrop for a man of means and used a narrative shotgun; Mrs. Obama chose a classic American middle class myth befitting the child of a single parent and used a narrative laser.

We should do much the same with our marketing. But experience tells me we won’t. In spite of the clear lesson about the power of a tight, cohesive story, we’ll continue to produce work that’s fact-driven, repetitive, dull, boring and does not connect with our target audience… then scratch our heads when nothing sells.

Cosmeceuticals Vs. Tennis Racquets? Who’s Selling Snake Oil?

When it comes to snake oil, I think the people at Head tennis racquets have taken the cake. Even the most egregious direct response male performance product has nothing on these guys. And note… I am a tennis player, I love getting a new racquet and I want to believe.

Here’s the line for Head’s Youtek Mojo Racquet: “d3o Technology senses your needs during different strokes.” Honest to God, that’s how it’s written.

Let me understand: this inanimate object with no electronic sensors and no ability to change shape or density actually senses my needs during play? C’mon, this is snake oil beyond snake oil.

Let a cosmeceutical company claim its anti-wrinkle cream “senses your needs with new d3o Penetrating Epidermal Technology” and the FDA and FTC would start to twitch.

So, as I’m about to hit a drop shot I guess the racket senses this and what? Reduces string tension so I hit a softer shot? Maybe the racquet changes its balance point and goes from handle heavy to head heavy in an instant to put more weight behind the shot? And if I’m trapped in the corner and have to hit a passing shot, I guess the Youtek Mojo grows in size so I get more hitting area. Wow!

In another part of the ad, it says that d3o Technology “…makes passing shots harder and drop shots more precise.” Again, WOW!

Those of us in nutraceuticals and cosmeceuticals are frequently if not constantly accused of selling snake oil. Part of the reputation has been ‘earned’ by spurious marketers hawking Blue Stuff and male enhancement cures and anti-wrinkle breakthroughs; but much of the reputation is unfair. All marketers, from Rolls Royce to the American Cancer Society, make claims that they are new, different, better. That’s the essence of the art.

Part of our outrage at advertising seems to be that we consumers will accept claims for products we like while laughing at those made for things we don’t need or use. Women like cosmetics; men think the ads are stupid: “Who in the world would believe that?” Turn the tables, however, and most women think that ads for the latest 5 terabyte cloud computing breakthrough are nonsense.

Even though I am a tennis fanatic, the Head people have set a new standard. This goes way beyond the people who advertised a cream that helps erase ‘ear wrinkles.’ Suddenly, that claim seems fine to me when compared to a morphing tennis racquet.

Here’s a thought. Instead of the Youtek Mojo, call it the Youtek Mr. Mojo Risin’ and claim the racquet makes you look like Jim Morrison (pre-junkie phase) as you gracefully run to make a fantastic shot… long hair glistening in the sun.

 I’d pay for that (and so would my wife)!

New Wave Marketing 101: Hemingway, Cezanne and What To Leave Out

This is deep: so much so that at first glance it seems easy. It’s not. It sits at the heart of artistic and creative endeavors, not the least of which is the marketing narrative.

Hemingway claims that he developed his terse, poetic style by looking at Cezanne’s work. That sounds a bit romantic and perhaps apocryphal. [We all realize that great artists often give enigmatic answers because they don’t like the idea of talking about art.]

Later, Hemingway said that the key to good writing is understanding what to leave out. An expert can leave things out because he knows them… the less knowledgeable and less talented leave out important things and include the obvious and the unnecessary.

These ideas mesh if you think long and hard.

As an impressionist/post-impressionist, Cezanne was obviously not trying to be realistic. Not every detail had to be exact or included. He painted only those colors and strokes and images that were needed to create the physical effect on the optic nerves and the emotional impact he was seeking. Not one stroke more or less.

You already know that Hemingway was the same. Read “Hills Like White Elephants” and notice how little description it takes to convey the emotional tension between the man and woman. At first glance, it appears that Hemingway has told you nothing of importance. The dialog is like eavesdropping on a couple at dinner. “Would you like a drink?” “No, I’m not thirsty.” “Hungry?” “Perhaps a little.” “It’s a simple thing, really.” “Yes, it’s always so simple.”

There’s seemingly nothing there, yet we’re emotional wrecks by the end of the story. That’s art.

We know that good marketing is both factual and emotional and I believe more emotional than facts because these days consumers hear so many contradictory facts that we’ve lost all scientific certainty.

So let’s say we’re trying to build an emotional connection with our audience by describing a scene… a couple on a park bench. Think – there are thousands of words and pictures we can use to describe the park, the sky, the couple, the bench, their clothing down to the color of their socks… skin texture, grass, birds, squirrels, etc. It’s endless.

You’re getting it. The artist takes a long hard look and chooses to describe only those things that best convey the emotion he or she is seeking… let’s say one close-up photo of the couple’s feet barely touching and short descriptions of their posture, the rickety bench seat and a child that goes running past. That’s it! From all the limitless possibilities (again, the weather, the sky, their complexions, the sounds, the smells, virtually millions of things) the artist has chosen the three or four essentials that few others have noticed, and has left out all the rest. That’s Cezanne; that’s Hemingway; that’s great marketing storytelling and design.

Most of us include too much of the obvious… and ironically we still manage to leave out the essential bits that someone like Hemingway picks up on. Why? Because he ‘knows’ about couples the way Cezanne knows how two colors placed side by side make a third. All the rest is just so much unnecessary bull that clouds the mind and kills emotion.

Plus, Hemingway and Cezanne took the time to really see; and they never describe the obvious things we all grasp at first glance. To do so is to be trite and tired.

Marketing is the same. You need to be an expert in humanity and emotions and have a keen eye for subtleties that contain the whole truth (all of this takes years); you don’t really need to be an expert on the product because you’re selling emotion more than facts – and consumers can easily find any fact they like.

Tell and show the consumer only those few, simple things to best convey emotion – and little else (facts here and there are fine, depending upon the product, if it’s B2B or B2C).

Be more like Cezanne and Hemingway and less like the directions you get in a box of IKEA furniture.

NOTE: This has nothing to do with length! It might take you 1,000 words and 10 pictures to convey a simple emotional truth. Rather, this has to do with your ability to get to the core of a product or a service or a cause with as few unnecessary words and obvious images as possible.

No one said this would be easy.

New Wave Marketing 101: Bring All You Have and All You Are to the Table

I believe that marketing, like writing, is an activity that requires you to bring all you are, all that you have to the table. That’s what I love about both.

This is a difficult idea to get across quickly but I’ll give it a shot.

If I say to a varied group of students in a basic writing class, “Write a few paragraphs describing your favorite person,” I might expect to get a very different essay from, say, a 20-year-old single woman born and raised in Georgia and a 55-year-old-married man from Liberia. (I did have these two students in one of my classes at Georgia Perimeter College.)

That makes sense, right? Two vastly different people should produce two very different essays.

It doesn't work that way.

As an adjunct professor for 12 years I can tell you that the stories will be amazingly and disappointingly similar and trite. “My favorite person is my wife (boyfriend). She (he) is always there for me and loves me for who I am.”

The problem? These two students didn’t bring all they are to the job. There’s no ethnic, cultural or personal detail... nothing about family or city of birth or life experience. Instead, they turned in what was expected, what they heard on TV last night, what they’ve written in other classes.

It takes courage to bring all you are to the table because if an instructor (or client) critiques the essay (or advertisement), he or she seems to be criticizing you at a deep, personal level. Plus, most people wrongly believe that their lives are uninteresting and unimportant. So why would you write about the details?

Same for products and brands.

I have worked with dozens of companies and hundreds of marketing people (oops, ‘executives’). When I suggest that they say something unique about a product, they reject the idea. Out of fear, I suppose… but also out of the same false belief as my example students: our stuff is not really that new or that interesting. And what if someone criticizes us… says we’re not what we claim we are… how will we defend ourselves?

I am from Pittsburgh. A lower middle class ethnic neighborhood of Italians and Lebanese. I spent eight years in college studying American Culture and 20 years as a musician, 10 of those years on the road. I love Pittsburgh sports teams, read a lot of literature and try to understand quantum physics. When I get angry I curse enough to make a sailor blush. Through my teen years the daily greeting among friends wasn't "Hi, how are you?", it was 'What the f, mother f?' (You can’t make this stuff up.)

So guess what? I’m an aggressive marketer. I sometimes ‘hate’ the f—ing competition… I love assertive direct response, but after reading great literature the copy/story has to be logical and a bit sophisticated. More often than not, I’ll use a literary style and even break into the poetic (because I’ve studied a lot of Modernists like Eliot and Pound). And it will all be framed in a perverse sense of gallows humor that comes from spending 10 years 24/7 with cynical musicians. I can cut like a knife if provoked.

That’s what I bring to the table with every ad, every marketing piece, everytime. It’s unavoidable for me... as it should be for you.

Look, your style won’t be applicable for every job… there are some marketing tasks you just won't do well… and your style should never overpower the product. But you should be able to see yourself in the work… in the insights you bring and the stories you tell… stories that come from your unique combination of upbringing, schooling and life experiences. Otherwise, you’re just like every other schmuck who loves his significant other because he or she is “there for you.”

[If you can’t bring everything you are to the table, try B2B. It takes very little to write copy or develop a campaign that basically says, “We’re pretty good, just like our competitors.”]

Think Don Draper. He killed his superior officer by accidentally setting him on fire. Later, when asked to come up with a tag line for a tobacco  company, Don offered: ‘Lucky Strike… It’s Toasted’. (Don’t tell me Mad Men isn’t the funniest show on TV.)

The Prufrockian question that all marketers must ask is this: “Do I dare disturb the universe?” 

F-ing right you dare. Go Steelers.

New Wave Marketing 101: Gravy Trainers, Quantum Stupidity & the Emotions of Quantum Shopping

Please indulge me as I start with a long aside...

Most people know nothing about quantum mechanics; and what they do know is usually wrong. Say ‘quantum’ and some wise acre will chime in, “Oh yeah, everything is relative, there is no truth, do whatever you want, there’s no right or wrong.”

Thanks so much for that tidbit.

Yet, this ignorance hasn’t stopped marketing agencies from trading on the term ‘quantum’. I Googled ‘quantum marketing’ and up popped scores of gravy-training quantum marketing companies.

I could barely stand to read the convoluted logic of these agencies. Here’s a typical paragraph:

“Quantum Marketing Group offers expertise and resources that have helped organizations maximize performance and identify hidden opportunities for profitable growth. Quantum helps small, medium and distributed enterprise organizations develop an effective sales automation process. Well designed and properly implemented sales automation improvements deliver a strong return on investment (ROI) and return on time (ROT). Sales automation improvements prepare a company for longer term sustainable growth. Sales automation, properly developed, provides tools, methods and processes needed to build and operate a successful sales and marketing program.”

As Blackadder said to Baldrick, ‘utter crap’. These geniuses broke the first rule of B2B marketing which is NEVER WRITE ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR COMPANY THAT THE COMPETITION CAN SIGN. How does the above statement make these guys different? And what happened to quantum? Sales automation = quantum? In what parallel universe?

What does any of this tripe have to do with the observer’s perspective or individual packets of data or the speed of light or electron clouds or collapsing wave functions or space-time or Neils Bohr or Schrodinger’s cat or Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle or branes or gravity or space-time? Read this slop again: Quantum Marketing Group hangs its hat on sales automation, whatever the hell that means… but I know this much, it has NOTHING to do with quantum anything – unless there’s such a thing as quantum stupidity.

These guys and the other 100 ‘quantum’ agencies are gravy trainers: “let’s say ‘quantum’ because it means nothing but sounds scientific and oh, so modern.” Is that the kind of thinking you want from a marketing company?

Glad I got that off my chest.

Now to the issue at hand. In 2006 some guy called Danziger came up with the ‘quantum theory of shopping’. Yes, he gravy-trained the name, figuring that because he developed a mathematical formula as to why people buy, it must be ‘quantum’.

Forgive him… because his formula is dead on. Here it is:

P = (N+F+A) ×E²

P is the propensity for a shopper to buy

N is need

F is product features

A is affordability

E is emotion

Notice that there are two tangible factors: F (features) & A (affordability). Intangibles are N (need) & E (emotion).

[As I look at this, Danziger has an argument about using ‘quantum’ because part of this formula relates to position and perspective (as does quantum mechanics): the buyer’s emotional perspective on what’s needed and what’s important at the moment of purchase is in the ‘quantum’ ballpark.]

Like quantum mechanics, when it comes to shopping/purchasing there’s more unknown than known. We do ‘know’ the features and the affordability (to some extent); but we’re working with probabilities when it comes to need and emotion, particularly E.

[Notice, that you multiply by E squared – it’s the equivalent of the speed of light in Einstein’s E=MC² (that’s 186,000 miles per second squared or one hell of a number). For Danziger, E (emotion) is that ‘big’ number.]

Emotions, excitement and pleasure and even fear that people associate with a product, can transform need into desire: enhancing perceived product features and increasing attraction. And we all know that emotions can make people pay a higher price than they ever intended (no explanation necessary to anyone who’s ever bought a home).

Building an emotional response is what marketing is all about. That's true for B2C and B2B, although the B2B ‘marketers’ will never, ever admit this because they and most of their clients just don’t get it.

What’s the best way to build an emotional response? Tell a good story for god’s sake. Facts and bullet points and “we’re the best” approaches are cold and unemotional. They are not marketing, in spite of what 99% of B2B agencies think.

The right words with the right images, often shown to consumers in unexpected places, create the E² – sometimes at the speed of light.

Look, marketing has changed completely, at least in the way stories are told and what emotional triggers stimulate today’s consumers. But what hasn’t changed is Danziger’s formula (with my addendum): E (emotion) drives sales and S (story) builds emotion.

This isn’t rocket science… or it it?

[NOTE: This formula applies to in-store displays as well as web sites: they too contribute to the E in Danziger’s equation. The more you can make customers feel pleasant and positive during the entire selling process, the more you enhance their shopping experience and the more emotion you build… and that emotion creates need, improves perceived features and expands the concept of what’s affordable.]

“When It Comes To Writing, Getting Started Is the Hardest Part” (Here Are Two Ways To Ease the Pain)

No truer statement has ever been made. Think about it, the headline and/or opening paragraphs of anything take the most time and cause the most pain… because there’s nothing worse than staring at a blank screen or piece of paper and expecting yourself to fill it. Frightening.

In many ways, the pain and fear can’t be avoided. Look at it like this: if you’ve ever jogged or bicycled any distance, you know the first mile or so isn’t fun… ever. There’s pain and doubt and your body hasn’t found its rhythm. But at some point down the road it all begins to work, your breathing levels out, things are fine.

Writing is the same. It takes time to get your brain in gear and your writing muscles loosened.

But there are a couple of tricks to ease the pain and/or speed the time till you’re hitting stride. Both can help, but generally I’ve found that people prefer one or the other, depending upon their personalities and styles. (I prefer the former, although sometimes the topic lends itself to approach #2.)

1. Think before you write! Too many of us sit down and try to write without having put any thought into what we might say. Make this common mistake and you’ll stare at that screen for hours and walk away with nothing. Take some time to THINK about where the ad or press release or article is going and don’t start writing until you have a clearer idea… save yourself the agony, doubt and inevitable self-loathing... and several starts and stops and starts and trash can basketball.

Most people believe that writing is something like 10% thought, 80% actual writing and 10% editing. Pros know it’s one-third, one-third, one-third. On the positive side, that means less time sitting at the desk and staring at a blank sheet of paper, but more time thinking and polishing the finishing product. Cheat any of the three sections and your work will suffer.

2. There’s a German saying, “Nothing makes you hungrier than eating.” Same with writing: the ideas start flowing from the physical act of writing itself. So start your article and continue on, even if the intro is weak and disorganized. Get as far as you can without stopping. You’ll see, the writing gets easier as you go along, just as jogging gets easier the longer you run.

But then go back and rewrite your intro and first couple of paragraphs. You’ll be in stride and have a better idea of where the article is going; you’ll see how to actually begin. Almost every writer will tell you that the first couple of paragraphs are generally s—t and need to be reconsidered because they were written before the author got warmed up and the essay or advert took shape.

Either one of these techniques should help get you going with less agony.

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PS: I can’t resist taking a shot at people who have no respect for how difficult the job is. You know, “all you did was write 100 words, how long did that take?” Generally this is a graphics guy who thinks his image is what’s selling. If images are the key, how did marketers sell before TV or photography or illustrations? With words! "In the beginning was the Word," even God uses words and stories (ever hear of a parable, Mr. Graphics?).

I did this once (an idea I stole from a one-time friend). In a room of salespeople, congratulating themselves on how well a product had done and convinced that they made it happen, I took offense at their egocentric,'we did it all' attitude. As if the story I'd told to position the product and attract consumers meant next to nothing.

"OK," I said, "here’s a new product (I had nothing but a box design with a product picture and the product name) go out and sell it... duplicate your success, I know you can do it!"

After a minute or two of silence came their response: “There’s no information. What are we selling?” Really! What happened to the earlier, self-congratulatory bravado?

Of course, they still didn't get the point?

Without the words, the story, the reasons behind the product, the sense of belonging if you choose to purchase, you’ve got nothing to sell. They had an image, a picture and the product name, supposedly that's all they need. Remember, images sell and now these crack salespeople have an image in hand -- they should be golden.

"So, who sold the product you or me?" I asked sarcastically.

“OK,” they said, “so write the new ad and we’ll start tomorrow.”

Tomorrow? Like it’s child's play to write a successful ad? I guess if you can write your name, you can write an ad. I supposed they figured about 125 words would do it and that should take 30 minutes, max.

So I gave each of them a blank sheet of paper and said, “Here, you fill the page if it's so easy" and left the room.

Never got one word back from any of them. This ain’t so easy, is it buddy?

Have You Ever Been Experienced?

I have – in the conventional sense and, I’ll admit, also in the terms to which Hendrix is referring. Sure, we all agree experience is a good thing; but as in everything else, too much is often a problem.

Here’s my history in a nutshell: 27 years working with words as editor and publisher of international B2B mags and a national consumer magazine with a circ of 450,000. US Director of a two-continent PR agency in B2B. Creative director for consumer/nutraceutical marketing company, helping to create print ads and produce TV ads that have sold more than half a billion in the span of five years. Published literary critic and short story writer. Adjunct professor (fancy name for part-time) teaching comp and rhetoric, American lit and world lit.

As musicians say, I’ve got the chops. (And by the way, I was a professional musician who spent nearly 10 years on the road working six nights a week.)

OK, so I’m experienced; but does that make me the best person to hire for, say, an ad agency or marketing company or magazine publisher?

Not really. In fact, my years of experience with their concomitant successes and failures may make me less of an asset: someone who rests on past accomplishments and has little drive; someone who focuses on how it used to be done not how it can be done; or worse, someone whose past failures (we all have ‘em, they help us grow, etc.) blind him/her to today’s new potentials?

I argue that post-2008 EVERYTHING has changed when it comes to marketing and consumer behavior. Logically, then, maybe all my experience is an anchor not a balloon.

I was reading a cheesy book about creative thinking and the author asked this question: why is it that older, professional golfers, those past 40, can’t win anymore? They can still hit the ball plenty far and are as accurate as younger golfers if not more so. Still, they can’t win… why?

Maybe because experience blinds them to opportunities during the course of a tournament. They can’t win because their past won’t let them conceive of the one shot that clinches the round. Or maybe they can still conceive of the shot but are too afraid to try it.

I’m just saying experience isn’t all it’s cracked up to be… particularly when it comes to this new era of marketing where past is not necessarily prologue… unless, that is, you’ve been able to maintain a young, unclouded perspective with the willingness, energy and curiosity to continue experimenting and learning. Otherwise, all the practical knowledge in the world won’t help you become a better 2012 marketer.

If you’re 50-plus, take a look in the mirror before you moan and groan about today’s inexperienced marketers. Their lack of a track record may be a big reason for the clever successes that leave you scratching your head.

Here endeth the sermon.

(OK, so now I’m thinking about the other ‘experienced.’ That sure was a way to radically shift your perspective and it only took a few hours… but no, I don’t have the courage to give that one more try. Some things are best left to the young.)

The Debate Between Words v. Pictures Is Over: Words Win!

You don’t believe me, do you? Adam, Nedly, Elson, Andy, Paul and all the first rate graphics people I’ve had the pleasure to work with – you still don’t believe me.

But here’s what you don’t know…

In Sunday’s London Times (13 November) there was an article entitled “Uglies can’t hide on the net.” I’d link everyone to it but it’s a paid subscription. So trust me on this. (I will save the article to show you all when we next meet!)

The article is about online dating and how women judge the attractiveness of men.

Wait for it... attractiveness is based on what the men write about themselves and NOT, repeat NOT on the photos that are put online. This is a scientific study, not a cosmeceutical “three out of four women think they look better” sort of thing.

It seems that confident men convey this attribute through their words… women sense the confidence, which attracts them and implies the man is successful regardless of what the picture looks like!!!!!!

They’re looking at Quasimodo yet when they read the words – the WORDS – they find his ugly visage attractive. Isn’t that Sales 101? Isn’t that Direct Marketing 101?

Case closed, I win… at some primordial level, people (OK, to be fair, maybe this just applies to women) are convinced by and give away their hearts, so to speak, to words… as if there's a genetic mandate to do so… and a subconscious way of 'knowing' that is so powerful it overcomes the actual image.

You guys can buy me that drink now.

"We Need Better Stories..."

... explained a Hollywood studio exec when asked why so many technically stunning movies are box office flops.”

The same is true for advertising. Memorable, successful campaigns begin with an insightful story and original content. Yet so many ‘marketers’ are reluctant to expend the time, creative thought and effort needed to tell moving, mythic stories... preferring to spend their money on style, not substance.

Wrong from the start.

Story comes first. Without it you have nothing new to offer... nothing to advertise. Consumers will ignore you. “I have facts,” you say. “My product is the best.” Neither really matters if your story is old, dull, boring, unbelievable or non-existent.

When you tell an authentic, evocative story you’ve captured the essence of intelligent marketing. You entertain, intrigue and remake the relationship between the product and the consumer. Then take advantage of digital technologies, social media platforms, to get your original content into unexpected places, make the idea contagious (an ‘idea virus’ as Seth Godin calls it) and you’re light years ahead of the ‘me-too’ crowd.

Of course, strong images and a good design are vitally important... but you can’t really sell with images alone (there are exceptions); conversely,  a good writer can sell a product with just a few paragraphs on a blank sheet of paper.

If you don’t understand this self-evident fact, you have my sympathies (and fast-talking agencies will have spent your money on a beautifully ineffective piece of creative).

Here’s the reality: the days of dictating to consumers are over. The rise of social media, the decline of traditional media’s ROI and an increasingly cynical public (with less money to spend) have radically altered how and why an idea gains traction.

What doesn’t change? The need to stand out... the need to create a new category and dominate it... the need to start with an honest narrative. If you understand the difference between a captivating story and just another silly, intrusive ad... you're chances of success will grow exponentially.