New Wave Marketing 101 - Shine On You Crazy Diamond

Let's agree: marketing today is a mess: amateurs, cowards, copycats, and dead boring B2B. So stop complaining, I say to myself, and offer a solution.

Well, I have one... thanks to Roger Waters and Stephen Mitchell. You know the former Pink Floyd genius but not the latter. Mitchell is the author of numerous books on religion, zen, history, and poetry and did the absolute best translation of the Tao, hands down, bar none (see http://www.stephenmitchellbooks.com/transAdapt/taoTeChing.html). And his translation of Rilke's poetry can bring you to tears if you're so inclined (see http://www.stephenmitchellbooks.com/transAdapt/poetryRilke.html).

The advice these two gave me applies to Zen, music, and marketing: shine in your original brilliance, as Mitchell put it. Shine on you crazy diamond, says Roger Waters.

What does this mean? Well, the keywords are 'original' and 'crazy'. Once upon a time, we were brilliantly unique. Then circumstance, age, and experience made us dull and common—just like marketing today.

But I think Americans, in particular, not only (I took an advanced degree in American Culture, so I'm prejudiced), can slough off the dust with a playful shake (paraphrasing Walt Whitman) and return to our original brilliance.

How? Well... what made you want to be a writer in the first place? No one ever said, "I want to write so I can compose tired, dull ads that are mostly lies." No fledgling graphic artist ever said, "I want to copy other people's work and turn art into a commodity."

None of us ever sought to maintain the status quo. We all, at one time or another, wanted to push the boundaries, didn't we?

I'm not here to explain why we lost our brilliance. I guess most answers would start with fear: of losing our jobs, of not making a payday, of facing angry clients, or of failure itself.

There's no blame to place. Let's all agree that, say, we do something once a week for the sheer hell of it... something extraordinary to flaunt our talents, push the limits, and make people laugh, scream, or cry. Just once a week, let's promise we'll return to our original brilliance... the ideas, talents, and passions that made us want to be in this business in the first place.

If our brilliant work goes nowhere, so what? Unenlightened clients won't like it, but that's their loss, not ours. Let it be our way of showing that commercial success isn't the only thing we care about. Let it be our gift to younger generations... let them see what we once possessed and still possess. Let's show ourselves that we still have talent regardless of age, economic status, or level of success.

Once a week, show your original brilliance -- shine on you crazy diamond!

New Wave Marketing 101: Overpaying, Over Doing and Over Estimating the Value of Social Media

If you saw the recent article about The State Department paying over $600K to raise its likes from 60,000 to 2,000,000 you should have laughed and then paused to reflect.

Here’s the takeaway: Most companies are over doing social media, over paying for the results and over estimating the value.

Here it is… short and sweet:

1. SM is a given for the vast majority of companies, but the simple basics are all that most need… because it’s expected – like a listing in the Yellow Pages was expected by consumers, even though no one saw results commensurate with cost.
2. CEOs and internal marketing departments in B2C and B2B are enamored of SM and frightened to be left behind, so they let any pretty face come in and sell them on likes and Google+ and tweets and you name it. Like taking candy from a baby… fools chasing numbers that don’t translate into sales.
3. Results are so poor that in any other media we would all run screaming from the field. But Google has us convinced that .75% is a pretty darn good return. I was a magazine editor/publisher for 20 years. If I had to sell that number to advertisers I would have been laughed out of the room.
4. Only two types of products/companies really benefit from the all out SM campaign: small, disruptive companies/products and huge multinationals. That’s it. Why these two?
• The big, big and maybe only significant effect SM has had on marketing is that for the first time consumers are finding you (78% find companies/products, not the other way around) and when they do, they’ve already developed an idea of who you are. You need to affect these preconceptions and this has traditionally been the realm of advertising; and if you can afford it, big ads with frequency still beat SM.
  
  But if you don’t have the bucks, SM allows you to disrupt markets, attack big market leaders and build status and belief with ‘minimal’ cost. This idea works with both B2B companies and consumer products trying to break through or disrupt an established market.
  
  But once you've hit mid-sized, SM is a minor necessity. You’re not disruptive, you have some media budget, you only need a basic presence.

• Then, there are a few, just a few, huge companies that need to present a human face: Wal-Mart, General Electric, GM, etc. -- companies that most people see as cold and faceless. Intelligent SM works well for them as branding, not sales. 

But most companies are not this big and do not need to be humanized. I don't expect Big O tires to show me their human side -- I do expect or at least appreciate a bit of humanity from Blue Cross Blue Shield or Shell Oil, etc.

If you’re not in one of these two categories, then SM is a small part of your marketing efforts these days. The blush is off the rose. For you to expect big results (and for you to pay big bucks to the plethora of SM pundits and overblown, egotistical coders and SEO ‘liars’) from minuscule return rates is just silly.

Look, say hello and thanks to your customers, explain what you do, offer a sale, improve your customer service, attract good people to hire, then get the hell out of SM.

The rest is plain nuts!

New Wave Marketing 101: What's the big idea?

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Recently, I posted what must have seemed like an enigmatic Zen koan: ‘A big idea is always small; an idea that’s too big usually makes a bad story.’

I apologize. I hate things like that… when someone parses his or her words in a way that makes one seem smart, clever and in the know. Pompous narcissists in my book; then I did the same ignorant thing.

Why not just say what I mean? I did want to be concise but mostly this was a ‘dig me’ moment: ain’t I just a deep thinker? Mea culpa.

Let me explain what I was getting at with a very typical example from my college writing class.

But first, here’s a true statement: every paper, speech, PPT presentation must have a ‘big idea,’ a central focus for the narrative.

Think of it this way. If you can recall the 1950s Superman show (George Reeves, poor soul), you’ll remember there’s always a scene in the Chief’s office where Lois says something like, “I want to cover the dock workers’ strike,” and the blustering Perry White inevitably asks, “What’s your angle?”

That’s the big idea.

So, I ask students to write a 5-page paper – which to me seems like an easy task; to them five pages is a brick wall. I tell them to focus on a controversial subject. Check with me first, I warn.

OK. Here are some typical topics they’ll profer:

Civil rights

Abortion

Legalizing drugs

Creationism v. evolution

Equal pay for equal work

How in God’s name can you cover the entire civil rights movement in five pages? Or Dr. King’s Birmingham march or his assassination or his famous Washington speech? You can’t, of course; and if you try the result will be a 1/64 of an inch thick analysis that will be scattered, trite and meaningless. The big idea is too big.

Instead, focus on, say, the mood of your hometown when the news came about Dr. King’s untimely death; how your grandparents reacted; how some were so callous while others in tears. You see? Small but excellent big ideas.

When we write ads or present products we almost always say too much… include too much, try to cram it all in and down the throats of an intimidated or uncaring audience. And by doing so we are having our own ‘dig me’ moment: look how smart I am, I know so much more than you.

So my Zen koan boils down to simply this: when writing any marketing piece, any presentation (and life is a presentation, right?) lower your ambitions and shrink your ego. The results are much more interesting when you dig deeper in a small area. When you have more to say about less you have a very, very BIG IDEA.

Left Brain or Right Brain? Stay Right If You Want To Create Mythic, Memorable Marketing

Every once in a while and more often than parents admit, our children teach us things, particularly when they’re grown and have the advantage of a good education. I can say that about both of my children. At times we have conversations that sound like a college classroom. I taught college for a long time and was always lecturing around the house. Now they lecture me to the point that I’m getting headaches trying to keep up.

Here’s the latest revelation.

We were speaking about marketing and advertising and movies and wondered what makes something stick with you… be it a painting, an ad, a joke, a sporting event or just one of life’s random moments?

My argument is usually less scientific, more humanities based, so I’m generally talking about Jungian archetypes and myths: the more mythic an idea, a story, the ‘deeper’ it hits your psychological home and the more likely it will find a place to stick. When a story reaches your archetype you can’t help but pull it in.

My son who is just out of UCLA with an Master’s in Film Production agrees, but thinks it has to do more with right side/left side of the brain. Maybe. After all, it’s common knowledge that the left side is logical and the right side is more intuitive (for right-handed people, of course).

Long story short, after watching Jill Bolte Taylor on TED, she of “Stroke of Insight” fame, he says: “The left side of the brain is ‘me,’ my ideas, my ego, it’s exclusive; while the right side is ‘us’ what unites all humans, what makes us the same… the great ‘Oversoul,’ the universal mind, the collective unconscious.”

I never thought of it quite in those terms.

He continues: “The ‘me’ side of the brain limits information input to only what’s important to me. The left side is full of bullet points. The ‘us’ side, on the other hand, accepts more information; it’s inclusive and pulls in more data so it has a fuller picture of the universe and fills in with a broader, more inclusive brush that adds depth. The right side tells stories.

OK – stay with me. So, the question then becomes, “What makes a master: Bankei, Picasso, Einstein, Muhammad Ali, Hemingway, Godard, or David Ogilvy? Talent and intelligence, sure. But a lot of people are smart as hell and have talent. It’s more than that.

The ‘master’ resides in the right side of the brain, more in the ‘us’ than does the common man. He or she is inclusive and sees unlimited resonant connections… to cultural myths, universal human stories, common symbols and shared fears and joys. That's why a master can write about a female character living in 18th century Madrid and make it stick with you while he sits in 21st century New York. It’s all about what makes us the same. It's 'enlightenment.'

We live, for the most part, in our tightly-focused left, logical world with just a small foray into the right intuitive side. Our daily work is mostly logical. And we need a degree of logic to live. Remember, Taylor’s stroke left her living totally in the right side. She was happy, overjoyed, one with the universe, with heightened senses; yet, she needed help feeding herself.

Problem is, we in America and Western Europe have all but abandoned the intuitive right side and it’s to our demise. The result? We work but feel unfulfilled; we have things but don’t have happiness; we sense something is missing but we don't know what. This was the argument of The Modernists like Pound and Eliot and why Surrealists and Dadaists, (and Lady Gaga, come to think of it) try to blast us out of our rationality. Why Jim Morrison wanted us to break on through to the other side.

Interesting, but what’s the marketing point?

When trying to connect with people – be it through advertising, poetry, novels, art or movies – the ‘master’ tips the balance strongly toward the right side, the intuitive side, the shared experience side.Here's where memorable emotions are made.

The rational side wants to bludgeon people with facts; it wants to win the argument at all costs. The intuitive side simply wants to point out universal truths we may have missed. And when we see these new connections we’re astounded, overwhelmed, sometimes moved to tears… and these ‘revelations’ stay in our psyche.

“The Godfather” sticks while “Maid in Manhattan” does not. “Where’s the beef?” is a phrase known by 300 million Americans, many of whom weren’t born when the old lady made the commercial. But that simple line cut through the rhetorical bull of most advertising and remains a part of contemporary myth and symbolism.

A mythic movie or advertisement literally remakes the relationship between the artist and the viewer, between the consumer and the brand. And this relationship cannot be shaken by all the facts in Wikipedia or the Encyclopedia Britannica.

When you’re writing and trying to evoke a reaction you need to tip the scales strongly to the right side of your brain and lighten up with the left side. Hemingway did. Einstein did. Great athletes do. It's not easy but it is essential.

Remember: You can’t really change anyone’s perceptions until you connect at a deep human level. Facts aren't made to do that.

Let me end with a quote from Mr. Einstein:

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

Or my favorite:

“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.”

Great art, great marketing help reveal the ongoing, universal monomythic miracle. 

("Monomythic?" you ask. "Is that even a word?" Hmmm… you haven’t read your Joyce, have you?)
 

Marketing Veterans Don’t Get It: I’m 100% Certain

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I ran across a blog/article written by some older guy (I’m of the approximate same age so I can say that with no disrespect) that demonstrates why so many marketing ‘veterans’ just don’t get it.

He’s on about eliminating weak words in marketing pieces… like ‘I think” or “We believe” or “Perhaps,” etc.

He wants us to replace conditional words with meaningful ones. “Be forceful… Use assertive language… As (someone) attempting to persuade an audience, your job is to provide them with as much certainty as you can. The way to get from doubt to certainty is to switch from the conditional to the declarative mood by eliminating the offending words.”

[Note: Your job is not to provide certainty. It's impossible.]

That’s writing 101 – I should know because I taught Comp & Rhetoric 101 at an Atlanta college for more than a decade. And yes, in student essays and some academic dissertations you want to eliminate (most) conditional phrases.

But ‘Mr. So-Last-Century' is big time wrong when it comes to advertising and marketing to today’s well-informed and sceptical consumers.

Here’s part of my response to the gentleman:

"Perhaps writing has more rules and exceptions than any other human activity."

That's my opening sentence and I stand by it. If I remove 'Perhaps,' what seems an equivocation to you, the sentence is weaker, not stronger... at least from an advertising/marketing perspective. The tone has changed from friendly and open-minded to dogmatic. Who am I to say definitively what rules writing has or does not have? If writing/marketing is about opening a conversation, and it is, the use of absolutes is often wrong. Absolutes stop discussion rather than encourage dialog.

I understand the ideological tenets from whence the old writer comes: show strength, say you're the best, be definitive… all of the old direct response rules right out of New York City circa 1960 or Sham-Wow. What goes unsaid is an inherent belief that  "people are ignorant sheep and need to be told what to do." That's the mantra of all the old school writers I've ever known (and I’ve known a few).

Look, physicians can't agree on the value of aspirin; yet this guy wants you to stand up and speak in absolutes: "Joe’s Widgets are the best ever, the only ones that really work; we are the #1 company for innovative, world class customer care; next year will be a record breaker for Joe's Widgets."

I don't believe any of it. And I don't like Joe... don't trust him as far as I can throw him.

Alternatively, "Our widgets can be found in many of the world’s most sophisticated designs. Next year could be a record breaker with a bit of luck, some hard work and the support of our customers" sounds truer to me and shows Joe is a reasonable, professional fellow with the same hopes and concerns and work ethic we all have.

I like that Joe. I trust him.

The earlier tell-me-what-to-do Joe seems shallow, as if he has no respect for me and, quite frankly, he seems to be just one more narcissistic prat with whom I don’t want to do business.

Pride is one thing; macho, egotistical advertising/PR is another.

Hercule Poirot had a great line: “A doctor who is 100% certain is an assassin.”

The same idea applies to old school marketers. Their blowhard ads are so ‘sure’ of the truth and so convinced that consumers can’t or won’t verify the facts, they’re murdering your campaign and, what’s worse, killing your relationship with customers… dead!

New Wave Marketing 101: Hemingway, Cezanne and What To Leave Out

This is deep: so much so that at first glance it seems easy. It’s not. It sits at the heart of artistic and creative endeavors, not the least of which is the marketing narrative.

Hemingway claims that he developed his terse, poetic style by looking at Cezanne’s work. That sounds a bit romantic and perhaps apocryphal. [We all realize that great artists often give enigmatic answers because they don’t like the idea of talking about art.]

Later, Hemingway said that the key to good writing is understanding what to leave out. An expert can leave things out because he knows them… the less knowledgeable and less talented leave out important things and include the obvious and the unnecessary.

These ideas mesh if you think long and hard.

As an impressionist/post-impressionist, Cezanne was obviously not trying to be realistic. Not every detail had to be exact or included. He painted only those colors and strokes and images that were needed to create the physical effect on the optic nerves and the emotional impact he was seeking. Not one stroke more or less.

You already know that Hemingway was the same. Read “Hills Like White Elephants” and notice how little description it takes to convey the emotional tension between the man and woman. At first glance, it appears that Hemingway has told you nothing of importance. The dialog is like eavesdropping on a couple at dinner. “Would you like a drink?” “No, I’m not thirsty.” “Hungry?” “Perhaps a little.” “It’s a simple thing, really.” “Yes, it’s always so simple.”

There’s seemingly nothing there, yet we’re emotional wrecks by the end of the story. That’s art.

We know that good marketing is both factual and emotional and I believe more emotional than facts because these days consumers hear so many contradictory facts that we’ve lost all scientific certainty.

So let’s say we’re trying to build an emotional connection with our audience by describing a scene… a couple on a park bench. Think – there are thousands of words and pictures we can use to describe the park, the sky, the couple, the bench, their clothing down to the color of their socks… skin texture, grass, birds, squirrels, etc. It’s endless.

You’re getting it. The artist takes a long hard look and chooses to describe only those things that best convey the emotion he or she is seeking… let’s say one close-up photo of the couple’s feet barely touching and short descriptions of their posture, the rickety bench seat and a child that goes running past. That’s it! From all the limitless possibilities (again, the weather, the sky, their complexions, the sounds, the smells, virtually millions of things) the artist has chosen the three or four essentials that few others have noticed, and has left out all the rest. That’s Cezanne; that’s Hemingway; that’s great marketing storytelling and design.

Most of us include too much of the obvious… and ironically we still manage to leave out the essential bits that someone like Hemingway picks up on. Why? Because he ‘knows’ about couples the way Cezanne knows how two colors placed side by side make a third. All the rest is just so much unnecessary bull that clouds the mind and kills emotion.

Plus, Hemingway and Cezanne took the time to really see; and they never describe the obvious things we all grasp at first glance. To do so is to be trite and tired.

Marketing is the same. You need to be an expert in humanity and emotions and have a keen eye for subtleties that contain the whole truth (all of this takes years); you don’t really need to be an expert on the product because you’re selling emotion more than facts – and consumers can easily find any fact they like.

Tell and show the consumer only those few, simple things to best convey emotion – and little else (facts here and there are fine, depending upon the product, if it’s B2B or B2C).

Be more like Cezanne and Hemingway and less like the directions you get in a box of IKEA furniture.

NOTE: This has nothing to do with length! It might take you 1,000 words and 10 pictures to convey a simple emotional truth. Rather, this has to do with your ability to get to the core of a product or a service or a cause with as few unnecessary words and obvious images as possible.

No one said this would be easy.

New Wave Marketing 101: Bring All You Have and All You Are to the Table

I believe that marketing, like writing, is an activity that requires you to bring all you are, all that you have to the table. That’s what I love about both.

This is a difficult idea to get across quickly but I’ll give it a shot.

If I say to a varied group of students in a basic writing class, “Write a few paragraphs describing your favorite person,” I might expect to get a very different essay from, say, a 20-year-old single woman born and raised in Georgia and a 55-year-old-married man from Liberia. (I did have these two students in one of my classes at Georgia Perimeter College.)

That makes sense, right? Two vastly different people should produce two very different essays.

It doesn't work that way.

As an adjunct professor for 12 years I can tell you that the stories will be amazingly and disappointingly similar and trite. “My favorite person is my wife (boyfriend). She (he) is always there for me and loves me for who I am.”

The problem? These two students didn’t bring all they are to the job. There’s no ethnic, cultural or personal detail... nothing about family or city of birth or life experience. Instead, they turned in what was expected, what they heard on TV last night, what they’ve written in other classes.

It takes courage to bring all you are to the table because if an instructor (or client) critiques the essay (or advertisement), he or she seems to be criticizing you at a deep, personal level. Plus, most people wrongly believe that their lives are uninteresting and unimportant. So why would you write about the details?

Same for products and brands.

I have worked with dozens of companies and hundreds of marketing people (oops, ‘executives’). When I suggest that they say something unique about a product, they reject the idea. Out of fear, I suppose… but also out of the same false belief as my example students: our stuff is not really that new or that interesting. And what if someone criticizes us… says we’re not what we claim we are… how will we defend ourselves?

I am from Pittsburgh. A lower middle class ethnic neighborhood of Italians and Lebanese. I spent eight years in college studying American Culture and 20 years as a musician, 10 of those years on the road. I love Pittsburgh sports teams, read a lot of literature and try to understand quantum physics. When I get angry I curse enough to make a sailor blush. Through my teen years the daily greeting among friends wasn't "Hi, how are you?", it was 'What the f, mother f?' (You can’t make this stuff up.)

So guess what? I’m an aggressive marketer. I sometimes ‘hate’ the f—ing competition… I love assertive direct response, but after reading great literature the copy/story has to be logical and a bit sophisticated. More often than not, I’ll use a literary style and even break into the poetic (because I’ve studied a lot of Modernists like Eliot and Pound). And it will all be framed in a perverse sense of gallows humor that comes from spending 10 years 24/7 with cynical musicians. I can cut like a knife if provoked.

That’s what I bring to the table with every ad, every marketing piece, everytime. It’s unavoidable for me... as it should be for you.

Look, your style won’t be applicable for every job… there are some marketing tasks you just won't do well… and your style should never overpower the product. But you should be able to see yourself in the work… in the insights you bring and the stories you tell… stories that come from your unique combination of upbringing, schooling and life experiences. Otherwise, you’re just like every other schmuck who loves his significant other because he or she is “there for you.”

[If you can’t bring everything you are to the table, try B2B. It takes very little to write copy or develop a campaign that basically says, “We’re pretty good, just like our competitors.”]

Think Don Draper. He killed his superior officer by accidentally setting him on fire. Later, when asked to come up with a tag line for a tobacco  company, Don offered: ‘Lucky Strike… It’s Toasted’. (Don’t tell me Mad Men isn’t the funniest show on TV.)

The Prufrockian question that all marketers must ask is this: “Do I dare disturb the universe?” 

F-ing right you dare. Go Steelers.

New Wave Marketing 101: Gravy Trainers, Quantum Stupidity & the Emotions of Quantum Shopping

Please indulge me as I start with a long aside...

Most people know nothing about quantum mechanics; and what they do know is usually wrong. Say ‘quantum’ and some wise acre will chime in, “Oh yeah, everything is relative, there is no truth, do whatever you want, there’s no right or wrong.”

Thanks so much for that tidbit.

Yet, this ignorance hasn’t stopped marketing agencies from trading on the term ‘quantum’. I Googled ‘quantum marketing’ and up popped scores of gravy-training quantum marketing companies.

I could barely stand to read the convoluted logic of these agencies. Here’s a typical paragraph:

“Quantum Marketing Group offers expertise and resources that have helped organizations maximize performance and identify hidden opportunities for profitable growth. Quantum helps small, medium and distributed enterprise organizations develop an effective sales automation process. Well designed and properly implemented sales automation improvements deliver a strong return on investment (ROI) and return on time (ROT). Sales automation improvements prepare a company for longer term sustainable growth. Sales automation, properly developed, provides tools, methods and processes needed to build and operate a successful sales and marketing program.”

As Blackadder said to Baldrick, ‘utter crap’. These geniuses broke the first rule of B2B marketing which is NEVER WRITE ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR COMPANY THAT THE COMPETITION CAN SIGN. How does the above statement make these guys different? And what happened to quantum? Sales automation = quantum? In what parallel universe?

What does any of this tripe have to do with the observer’s perspective or individual packets of data or the speed of light or electron clouds or collapsing wave functions or space-time or Neils Bohr or Schrodinger’s cat or Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle or branes or gravity or space-time? Read this slop again: Quantum Marketing Group hangs its hat on sales automation, whatever the hell that means… but I know this much, it has NOTHING to do with quantum anything – unless there’s such a thing as quantum stupidity.

These guys and the other 100 ‘quantum’ agencies are gravy trainers: “let’s say ‘quantum’ because it means nothing but sounds scientific and oh, so modern.” Is that the kind of thinking you want from a marketing company?

Glad I got that off my chest.

Now to the issue at hand. In 2006 some guy called Danziger came up with the ‘quantum theory of shopping’. Yes, he gravy-trained the name, figuring that because he developed a mathematical formula as to why people buy, it must be ‘quantum’.

Forgive him… because his formula is dead on. Here it is:

P = (N+F+A) ×E²

P is the propensity for a shopper to buy

N is need

F is product features

A is affordability

E is emotion

Notice that there are two tangible factors: F (features) & A (affordability). Intangibles are N (need) & E (emotion).

[As I look at this, Danziger has an argument about using ‘quantum’ because part of this formula relates to position and perspective (as does quantum mechanics): the buyer’s emotional perspective on what’s needed and what’s important at the moment of purchase is in the ‘quantum’ ballpark.]

Like quantum mechanics, when it comes to shopping/purchasing there’s more unknown than known. We do ‘know’ the features and the affordability (to some extent); but we’re working with probabilities when it comes to need and emotion, particularly E.

[Notice, that you multiply by E squared – it’s the equivalent of the speed of light in Einstein’s E=MC² (that’s 186,000 miles per second squared or one hell of a number). For Danziger, E (emotion) is that ‘big’ number.]

Emotions, excitement and pleasure and even fear that people associate with a product, can transform need into desire: enhancing perceived product features and increasing attraction. And we all know that emotions can make people pay a higher price than they ever intended (no explanation necessary to anyone who’s ever bought a home).

Building an emotional response is what marketing is all about. That's true for B2C and B2B, although the B2B ‘marketers’ will never, ever admit this because they and most of their clients just don’t get it.

What’s the best way to build an emotional response? Tell a good story for god’s sake. Facts and bullet points and “we’re the best” approaches are cold and unemotional. They are not marketing, in spite of what 99% of B2B agencies think.

The right words with the right images, often shown to consumers in unexpected places, create the E² – sometimes at the speed of light.

Look, marketing has changed completely, at least in the way stories are told and what emotional triggers stimulate today’s consumers. But what hasn’t changed is Danziger’s formula (with my addendum): E (emotion) drives sales and S (story) builds emotion.

This isn’t rocket science… or it it?

[NOTE: This formula applies to in-store displays as well as web sites: they too contribute to the E in Danziger’s equation. The more you can make customers feel pleasant and positive during the entire selling process, the more you enhance their shopping experience and the more emotion you build… and that emotion creates need, improves perceived features and expands the concept of what’s affordable.]

New Wave Marketing 101: Why Are Outrageous Claims and Markups OK for L’Oreal and Dior but Not Direct Response?

Think about this for a minute. Is there really a difference between DRTV spots and the way international cosmetics brands are marketed? Same outrageous claims, same 10X - 40X pricing structure.

Cosmetics from iconic brands like L’Oreal or Dior or Olay aren’t really any better than OxyClean, are they? Imagine selling an anti-wrinkle cream that costs $5 in the tube for $135.00. I did that, I’ll admit it; and cosmetics companies do it everyday of the week. But at least they market with some style, panache, compelling story, exquisite packaging and first rate service. That must count for something.

At the risk of being crude, at least they kiss you before they…

I’m conflicted. If Estee Lauder and Clinique can sell miracle face creams for 10X to 40X cost, why can’t I sell a miracle salad spinner via DRTV or a breakthrough meatloaf pan, for that matter, without looking cheap and sleazy and having the FTC breathing down my neck?

It's the sleazy history of DR, I think.

Here’s a test. How many cosmetics have you used or purchased (men and women) that actually met your expectations? I can think of a few right off the bat:

• Original Rachel Perry — great stuff
• The yellow Clinique moisturizer in the glass bottle
• Shaving cream from Wild Oats— Kiss My Face
• Queen Helene mask — from the 1930s, I swear
• St. Ives apricot seed scrub — not as good as the original, but still good
• Idebinol — great face cream, unfortunately no longer sold

The list goes on and on.

Now, how many DR products have you tried that worked as promised?

• Paint roller – terrible, still finding drops on the floor
• Magic Bullet – not too bad, really
• Proactiv (for my teenage children) – no better than a $3 tube of benzoyl peroxide
• Orthotics – waste of time
• Scratch remover for the car – stupid purchase on my part
• Hercules Hooks – sorry, Billy
• Swivel Sweeper – worthless
• Knives from anyone – I have no need to cut a Coke can in half

See a pattern? DR loses credibility because of the products themselves… cheaply made and basically ineffective, then tied to the standard DRTV format that screams rip off. Add generally poor service… slow shipping, bad return policy, tricky automatic renewals, etc. and you've destroyed any trust between vendor and consumer.

How’s this for a solution… a way out of the DR decline?

• Sell better products
• Make sure what you say in the ad copy matches what’s said about the product online (to the best of your ability)… better products should make this easier… and spend some money on social media to defend your products, for goodness sakes
• Change the tired DRTV format, for example:

1. Give the actual price upfront
2. Forget BUT WAIT and triple your order tricks
3. Give a full guarantee, shipping and all
4. Avoid the tired Guthy Renker model (or should I say “trusted Guthy Renker”?). Look, they’ve made a lot of money at it, good for them, but GR has burned out the format here in the U.S. (which is why their sales are increasingly coming from other countries)
5. Avoid automatic renewal – the #1 reason why most consumers will not buy anything DR

Any takers?

New Wave Marketing 101: For Many, Advertising Is Mostly Unnecessary

Let’s say you’re starting a new restaurant in Pittsburgh. In the old days, you’d announce the Grand Opening, try to get some early PR and then advertise in local newspapers, food guides, etc. To get the tourist trade, you might advertise in one of those hotel-room publications, online food guides, Fodder’s online, etc. You might try some local TV spots to build your clientele.

Remembering that only 14% of consumers believe advertising while 78% believe online reviews, I would argue that advertising won’t really work for your restaurant.

Yes, you need the Grand Opening stuff, but past that what good will advertising do?

Restaurants are about word of mouth – and let’s face it, today almost all business is word of mouth. If you’re food (your product or service) is great, people will talk about it. Good food, good products get around much faster than you think… bad food and bad products move just as quickly.

So how do I get people to my restaurant? Serve good food.

What about getting the word out about my place?

Look… when people pull into a new town they inevitably rely on their smartphones. The urbanspoon app, for example, uses your location to search, say, ‘Italian’ restaurants… I don’t even need to know the name of your place to find it. Then, of course, people read the reviews. That’s how the choice is made these days. If you were to drop a bundle on advertising but the online reviews are bad, you’ve wasted money that could have been spent making the product better.

Recently, my son moved to NYC. He goes online and searches ‘best brunch in New York’. Finds a listing, checks the reviews and ends up in Chelsea having one of the better meals of his life – which is saying something as he’s lived in LA for years and has travelled extensively overseas.

How long did this process take? Less than five minutes.

What about advertising? He never looked at any of it.

Bottom line: consumers find you, you don’t find them… and this reversed process makes most advertising (not all) unnecessary for many, many industries. (Note: a bit of local advertising and community PR will help.)

Marketing 101: Niagara Falls… Hitting Bottom

Sitting here, standing here, pacing here… trying to come up with a fresh story for a product that is not new, not needed and, truthfully, cannot work as claimed by the manufacturer.

The marketer's dilemma in a nutshell.

This product will fail: 25 years experience and basic common sense tell me. Still, I am reluctant to express my severely negative doubts. Isn’t the American Way to push ahead and give it your best shot, damn the torpedoes and all that Dr. Phil kind of stuff?

I can hear the client’s responses: “Oh, so you CAN’T do it,” or “I thought you were a CREATIVE writer,” or “you only want to work on products that are a slam dunk,” and best of all, “this may look like just another acne cream but this one REALLY WORKS!”

I’m not clairvoyant… and I’ve read enough about quantum mechanics to know that all we can offer are probabilities, not certainties… the wave function hasn’t collapsed… the electron is probably here but not definitely here… using Planck's Constant, Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle and the FTC's penchant for discouraging false advertising, I put the probability of this product succeeding at 1 in 1,000.

Life’s too short and writing talent too fickle to risk either on something that’s very, very likely to fail; yet part of me wants to give it a try: like taking a barrel over Niagara Falls for the pure hell of it.

“This product will change your life!”

Ahhhhhhhh, it’s coming now….

“The first and only acne cream specifically formulated to give you a smoother, clearer, sexier complexion…”

Yes, the end is in sight… but the end of what?

Marketing 101: The Art of Conversation circa 44 BC

I keep talking about how marketing has changed and is changing. Fair enough. Maybe it's time to take a look at what doesn't change.

Case in point: conversation.

All marketing is or should be conversation -- ways to encourage it, make it more relevant and more comfortable for those engaged (your customers). There are rules, a kind of etiquette, that most follow and expect others to do the same. Over the years, however, marketing has tended to ignore those rules; for example, ads shout at you, dominate the conversation and don't let you get a word in edgewise... a bit like talk radio or your ex-wife and/or know-it-all husband.

Here's the interesting part. The rules of conversational etiquette are universal; they cut across cultural boundaries and have been in play for centuries. Centuries? Is that true?

Yes... have a look at Cicero's rules for pleasant conversation, written in 44 BC. Still as fresh as a newly-opened bottle of 30-year-old single malt and perhaps more relevant than ever in this age that allows for millions of conversations per second worldwide.

Marketers -- pay attention, these rules apply to you all the more, as the conversation you're trying to start is often with a consumer who does not trust or know you.

Cicero's Rules for Good Conversation

• speak clearly
• speak easily, but not too much, give others their turn
• do not interrupt
• be courteous
• deal seriously with serious matters, gracefully with lighter ones
• never criticize people behind their backs
• stick to subjects of general interests
• do not talk about yourself
• never lose your temper
  

There's Research, Then There's RESEARCH

In a former life I made a living doing research… at the library and with a 2400-baud modem, pre-Internet. (I've written this bit before.)

All these years later and somewhat ironically, I am not a big believer in research when it comes to marketing and advertising (particularly things like consumer focus groups, surveys and the like).

OK, so now I’ve made myself a pariah to a lot of agencies that love to do consumer research on their clients' behalf for the money it brings in and the time it takes, which allows agencies to talk and meet and talk some more about potential strategies without ever implementing a plan.

Why the wait? Once implemented, there’s a chance of failure: the longer you can stall before you place your bet, the longer you can sit at the table and pretend to be a player.

I'm from a direct response background... there's no pretending... trust your instincts, take a stand, move forward, adjust to circumstances... and leave most research to the posers! 

BUT THEN AGAIN...

There is a lot of very clever research going on, particularly among big box stores where there's fierce competition between Wal-Mart and Target and Costco and Sam's Club and... well, the list goes on and on.

You'll love this bit or research -- I did. Listening to the radio (NPR) and an interview with the author of The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business  a guy by the name of Charles Duhigg.

The interview was excellent and makes me want to buy the book. For example, did you know that Febreeze was a failure until P&G made one change. Get the book to find out what that was -- it has to do with people's habits (of course). And the point was that had P&G actually asked consumers, they would not have told the 'truth' because they don't recognize their own habits.

But here's the research bit. It seems that Target can accurately predict not only if a woman is pregnant but also her due date within two weeks! And they can do this oftentimes before the woman herself knows she's with child.

What? How?

It seems that some smart cookie at Target noticed how a woman's buying habits change when she's pregnant, before the woman knows she's with child. The giveaway? When a woman of child-bearing years (of course) begins to buy unscented body lotions and creams, there's a good chance she's pregnant! Then, when she starts buying Q-tips and cotton balls, Target knows roughly how far along she is and voila they have a due date. Then the coupons start rolling in, appropriate to the trimester.

That's either brilliant or they're all going to one of Dante's special levels of hell.

It seems there's research... then there's RESEARCH! You gotta love it.

 

 

New Wave Marketing 101: If I Say I'm Cool... I'm Not Cool

These days marketing is all about talking around your product. The usual corporate hype and gibberish you see on every B2B site about 'world class service' and 'innovative breakthrough solutions' just won't do; neither will the B2C hype about how a product will change your life. (Don't you wish changing your life was that easy?)

Two examples of what I mean.

1. An entrepreneurial young man starts an executive dating company and it takes off. So much so that he is invited to speak on "The Today Show,” the stalwart national morning TV program that's watched by millions. He's excited and expects to pick up a lot of business. The result? A few more visitors to the web site, but that's it. Are you kidding? National TV and not one new customer?

Only months later, after his company is mentioned in various blogs related to online dating, does my young friend realize a significant amount of new business. These blogs did not talk about his company directly… they were speaking about the problems of online dating and, ‘oh, by the way, there is a company that supposedly helps executives find dates.' That simple line delivered by someone other than a company spokesperson is all it took.

2. A now best selling author releases his first ‘how to' book and does the usual talk show rounds. The response? Same as above… not much. But… the release of the book is blogged about on a very popular lifestyle site – ‘oh, by the way, has anyone read this book'? – and sales go through the roof. Literally 10,000 copies fly out of Amazon.

You see a pattern, don't you? Cynical consumers do not believe most of what companies and their agencies say about a product. The idea of speaking directly to a possible consumer about your product is seen as ‘sales,' as hype, as one step up from snake oil.

(One very important caveat: if you have the money to run with enough frequency, forget all of the above. Frequency works and it doesn't matter if the creative is good or not. Keep showing the ad and people will eventually get on board – like Goebbels' ‘big lie' theory of propaganda.)

Today, consumers believe something when they get the message in a more round about way… which is the beauty of social media (because it's the engine that powers 'round about' information distribution). When design engineers, for example, are exchanging ideas on LinkedIn about robotics systems, and one of them says, ‘I saw a system today that used Brand X flexible cables', that kind of talking around the product is seen as real, unbiased, truthful and leads to sales.

If you've been reading this blog for the past few months, I know what you're thinking: "You always say that social media allows you to talk directly with customers, now you're saying that companies shouldn't do this?”

No that's not what I'm saying. You can and should talk directly to potential customers, but about things like new technologies, problems and solutions, general industry developments. This seemingly ‘direct' communication is actually a form of talking around your product. But as soon as the discussion turns to, "our product is the result of years of research making the new XB-1000 a world class walnut cruncher,” you've lost the sketch and the customer's attention.

It's tricky… there's a fine line… this is not direct response so new business isn't going to develop overnight. But talking around your product is the only way these days, unless, as I said, you have very deep advertising pockets!

What a tome I've written. So much for less is more.

Let me try to say this simply: If I walk into a party and say "Hi, I'm Nick and I'm very cool,” people hate me. If I walk into the same party an hour after two women were talking about how interesting Nick is, well… I'm golden.

Marketing and Advertising: It's Amateur Hour

Recently, a LinkedIn group for copywriters was in a flutter over the fact that companies are advertising for 'digital copywriters'. They're all agog: "copy is copy, if it's good it can run anywhere... advertising for a digital writer is absurd, there is no such thing."  

OK -- in theory I'm on your side: good writing is good writing who cares if it's for digital media.

But my God, you don't get it, do you? Look at music, look at book publishing, look at photography, look at video production: all have fallen into the hands of amateurs and so has writing copy. And this won't change anytime soon, if ever.

Stop acting like you're stunned: Digital copywriter is code for "amateur/semi-pro word pusher who doesn't charge too much -- because after all, people don't read anymore so the copy needs to be short and uninspired."  

Marketing and advertising are now crafts, not art... like paint-by-number Picasso's. They are the province of amateurs with high-tech equipment: amateur photographers who can get one decent shot with an 18 megapixel camera; videographers who are good enough for web and youtube and reality TV; digital 'designers' who are coders with minimal Photoshop/InDesign skills; writers who use templated press releases and/or web sites and can move a few words around.

Like it or not, that's the lay of the land. Why pay professional prices when amateur stuff is pretty good; when the vast majority of (amateur) marketing directors can't tell the difference between between good and great; when consumer expectations of ad quality have been lowered by Internet, reality TV and years of bad, uninspired marketing?
  
Plus, consumers are so turned off by ads and marketing that spending thousands more on great work rarely makes sense (at least to the minds of CFOs, and if you can find great work).

And who's to say this move to amateurs isn't smart? After all, the key factor to determining an ad's success is frequency: if you have the cash to run a piece of bad creative time after time after time, it will eventually get into people's heads.

Look at the music industry: big record labels and expensive, sophisticated studios gave way to do-it-yourself recording and self distribution. Same thing applies to marketing and advertising... we may be just starting down this same path but we're moving quickly thanks to better photography, easier web design, a lowering of standards and expectations and a flood of 'communications' majors pouring out of colleges and all with the idea that marketing is 'fun'. 

I was taught that marketing was difficult, artistic, psychological, existential, problematic, courageous, confrontational, mind changing, frustrating, etc. But now it's fun, as in: "here's a 'fun' thing we can do -- let's give away stuffed animals to the first 50 people who send us a video of how they use our hair conditioner to 'tame' loose ends.

That's marketing 2012 for the great unwashed! Well-meaning amateurs all around.

And when it comes to B2B, it's even worse... amateurs who don't like or enjoy what they do and don't think marketing is particularly useful! Stupid amateurs.