When it comes to snake oil, I think the people at Head
tennis racquets have taken the cake. Even the most egregious direct response
male performance product has nothing on these guys. And note… I am a tennis
player, I love getting a new racquet and I want to believe.
Here’s the line for Head’s Youtek Mojo Racquet: “d3o
Technology senses your needs during different strokes.” Honest to God, that’s
how it’s written.
Let me understand: this inanimate object with no electronic
sensors and no ability to change shape or density actually senses my needs
during play? C’mon, this is snake oil beyond snake oil.
Let a cosmeceutical company claim its anti-wrinkle cream
“senses your needs with new d3o Penetrating Epidermal Technology” and the FDA
and FTC would start to twitch.
So, as I’m about to hit a drop shot I guess the racket
senses this and what? Reduces string tension so I hit a softer shot? Maybe the
racquet changes its balance point and goes from handle heavy to head heavy in
an instant to put more weight behind the shot? And if I’m trapped in the corner
and have to hit a passing shot, I guess the Youtek Mojo grows in size so I get
more hitting area. Wow!
In another part of the ad, it says that d3o Technology
“…makes passing shots harder and drop shots more precise.” Again, WOW!
Those of us in nutraceuticals and cosmeceuticals are
frequently if not constantly accused of selling snake oil. Part of the
reputation has been ‘earned’ by spurious marketers hawking Blue Stuff and male
enhancement cures and anti-wrinkle breakthroughs; but much of the reputation is
unfair. All marketers, from Rolls Royce to the American Cancer Society, make
claims that they are new, different, better. That’s the essence of the art.
Part of our outrage at advertising seems to be that we
consumers will accept claims for products we like while laughing at those made
for things we don’t need or use. Women like cosmetics; men think the ads are
stupid: “Who in the world would believe that?” Turn the tables, however, and
most women think that ads for the latest 5 terabyte cloud computing
breakthrough are nonsense.
Even though I am a tennis fanatic, the Head people have set
a new standard. This goes way beyond the people who advertised a cream that
helps erase ‘ear wrinkles.’ Suddenly, that claim seems fine to me when compared
to a morphing tennis racquet.
Here’s a thought. Instead of the Youtek Mojo, call it the
Youtek Mr. Mojo Risin’ and claim the racquet makes you look like Jim Morrison
(pre-junkie phase) as you gracefully run to make a fantastic shot… long hair
glistening in the sun.
I’d pay for that (and
so would my wife)!
