Yahoo Lies, If Marissa Mayer Is To Be Believed

One thing about a marketing/branding narrative is that it must be consistent at its heart. Anything that is out of character, no matter how small it seems, is a big deal. People sense and dislike inconsistency because it usually speaks to the heart and soul of a person, a product, a brand. (NOTE: Occasional breaks with a brand’s look and feel are fine… consider Google’s constantly changing logo. But there can be no contradiction in core philosophy.)

An aside: you know when you get a feeling about someone you’ve just met? You’re slightly ‘creeped out,’ and you don’t know why… he or she seems fine, looks good but you feel something. Here’s why: The person’s actions and words do not completely match… in some deep way that your subconscious understands. He says X but his eyes say Y; she looks nice but her hands are clenched. What’s creeping you out is this ever so slight inconsistency that subtly screams ‘LIAR.’ To the extreme, the smiling clown who makes you think of John Wayne Gacy.

Back to Yahoo.

So the new CEO, Marissa Mayer, has her baby. Congratulations. Then announces she’s taking just a two-week maternity leave and back to the office.

I’ve nothing to say about the parental wisdom of that choice.

But from a corporate/brand point of view, she should be fired ASAP. Why? She obviously does not understand nor does she believe the essential philosophy of Yahoo. How, then, can she be its CEO?

Fire her today and put out this story:

The Board of Yahoo has terminated Marissa Mayer for the following reasons:

 1. Her insistence on returning to work after two weeks maternity leave is against the corporate spirit of Yahoo. We are an employee-centered organization and we cannot condone our CEO setting such a precedent… one that will be used by unenlightened companies to force parents into quickly returning to work.

On the contrary, we encourage extended maternity leave as a time for parents to bond with their children and enjoy the blessings of bringing a new life into the world.
 
   2. Just as important is Ms. Mayer’s disregard for the primary philosophy of Yahoo. We are an information company built on the idea that users have access to all the data, news and entertainment they need to do their jobs and enjoy their lives. We are also founded on the principle of portability, that is, no matter where or when you need information to do your job you can count on Yahoo. Without this core belief, Yahoo would be nothing more than an entertainment hub and not a source of vital business and marketing information – not to mention being a primary collaborative link for international commerce.

Ms. Mayer’s insistence on returning to work belies our structure. In essence, her actions call into question our basic philosophy. Logically, she’s saying that she can’t access all the information she needs; she can’t do serious work with Yahoo; and the idea of portable, accessible information is a lie.

Judging by Ms. Mayer’s actions, we can only conclude that she does not at all believe in the promise of Yahoo.

This being the case, she is terminated immediately.

(Am I the only one who noticed this glaring, amazing, ignorant inconsistency?)

Are You a CEO? Then Put Away Sun Tzu and Pick Up Chantal Gensse

Not a lot of people outside of France know about Chantal Gensse.

Lucky for me, I was introduced to Chantal by a close friend and was immediately taken by her candor (really, if you ask her a question you will get an answer, you might not like it, but you can’t ignore the wisdom). As unlikely as it sounds, this unassuming French woman has done what Harvard MBAs have failed to do: develop a theory of business management that is at once both radically new and a return to traditional capitalism… a method that is perfect for our shattered economic times.

Several large French corporations have taken Chantal’s management method to heart and with amazing success. Better yet, her method, called Expert 5A, works quickly. It’s not your typical, ‘bring in consultants for six months’ – rather it’s, talk with Chantal, give her a few days to apply her wisdom, then she’s away and you’re on the right track. Sound too simple? It’s not… she’s that perceptive and her system is that good.

I’m not qualified to explain it properly, so let's just say that Chantal is the anti-Sun Tzu, and she comes at a time when management needs a new paradigm… one that moves away from the war analogy and toward a mutually cooperative business environment (and marketing environment) based on give and take – not just take, take, take.

In hindsight, I think we can all see that “The Art of War” was a ridiculous model for business to follow. How many of you have ever worked for a company that had a 'war room'? I did. The absurdity of it – some white haired guys in ugly suits huddling up as if they were reincarnations of Eisenhower, DeGaulle, FDR and Churchill… strategizing on how to sell cosmetics rather than defeat Hitler.

We’ve already seen the results of following Sun Tzu – look at Wall Street’s actions, plundering stocks, raping retirement funds, taking huge salaries, then asking for help when the well ran dry. Attila the Hun couldn’t have wrecked more havoc.

So, it’s this attitude of greed, power and corporate narcissism that Chantal has come to unmask and destroy… and in so doing she makes companies better, more profitable, more human... healthier.

Manage your company and your employees as an organic system rather than a weapon to crush the competition, put fear into the hearts of your workers and overwhelm consumers and guess what? Your company succeeds, profits rise, employees are happy, the economy gets healthy and capitalism returns to its roots.

As I said, it’s not for me to explain Expert 5A. If you’re interested, visit http://www.gensse-associates.com/ -- you’ll need to bone up on your French. But I’m told there’s a new book in English that’s available now or soon will be.

Chantal wondered about marketing Expert 5A. “What would you say?” she asked me.

My idea? Show a tough corporate president, tall, imposing, in a boardroom along with a smallish, unimposing woman and ask: “Do You Have the Courage (I really want to say Balls) to Talk with Chantal?”

I did have the courage… on a couple of occasions; and once the smoke cleared and my ego healed (no owner or CEO wants to hear that his/her company isn’t perfect), the real problems became apparent, false ‘battles’ fell away and solutions (and ways to improve creativity) came almost immediately to mind.

She had the nerve to accuse me of being a pessimist – well, that’s not really true, because her method has nothing to do with accusations, just showing you a less hostile way to proceed. Well, I guess I am a pessimist – marketing is in such a bad place these days I wonder if it will ever make the transition to 21^st century realities. But as long as there are people like Chantal working to find better, healthier management and marketing techniques that lead to financial and personal success, I guess I can ratchet down my pessimism… and I will, as soon as I throw away that damned Sun Tzu!