What Are You Afraid Of?

OK, I could have made it grammatically correct but then the headline would not have sounded right, would it? “Of what are you afraid?” Hmmm…  I don’t know. I kinda like it because it stands out and that’s what so many in marketing are afraid of… standing out, being different, making a statement. Particularly B2B marketers who sometimes seem afraid of their shadows.

I remain amazed at how many people who make a living related to marketing don’t like the profession, the tactics or anything about it.

Let’s start at Marketing 101. The goal is to stand out in a way that gets people to notice you… an honest way, not an immoral way (you can always take off your clothes and get noticed or swear at the top of your lungs or pull a gun, for that matter). The best ways to stand out can include FREE, a compelling story, compelling graphics/design, killer product, and the like. Mostly, it’s a combination of these things but generally centered on the story – the words.

“If people buy difference . . . what’s yours?” That’s the first question a marketer asks and it’s also when the story comes in.

What’s the opening line of the Bible – the greatest story ever told? “In the beginning was the Word.”

Tells you the power of story… God himself or herself or itself uses parables, psalms, gospels and epistles to tell us the human story. There’s Adam and Eve, the revolt of the angels, the tower of Babel, the list goes on and yet we know them all by heart… because of words not images, not film footage of Lot’s wife or John the Baptist’s head… words.

So, why do so many in marketing fear words and/or believe that telling a story is somehow evil. These people aren’t marketers, they’re ‘fact packagers’, pixel and letter pushers who think real marketing is disseminating data. They’re too naïve or stupid to see that facts ain’t really facts – they're mostly opinions on interpreted data put out by experts with an agenda. Yet, these fools believe that facts are unspun and thus truer than, dare I say the word, marketing.

Please get out of the business.

Why am I being so cruel?

First, you’re too stupid to see that everything is spun, for god’s sake even God spins, thus we have parables. (I’d like to find the jawbone of an ass and beat you with it!)

Second, proper spin helps to illuminate the message… otherwise why read novels about Paris in the 1920s (The Sun Also Rises, in case you missed it)? Why not just give me a checklist of facts? (I’m making them up):

-one million Americans moved to Paris between 1920 – 1930
-Hemingway drank in 150 Parisian bars
-Rue Kleber is one of the longest streets in the 16th arrondissement

The above isn’t marketing, is it? Yet THEY think so. Again, especially B2B pseudo- marketers who think an advertisement is a picture of a widget, a few bullet points and a clever headline: “Let Columbus Widgets Help You Discover a New World of Efficiency.”

I’m going to puke. I’M GOING TO PUKE (in the voice of the screaming comedian who wrapped his car around a pole near Las Vegas).

And clients, my goodness, who frightened them as children?

You can bust your hump coming up with a clever story about their product, only to have them say, “We can’t say that, can we? Can’t we just tell them that our widget is the one that really works (emphasis on REALLY)?

No, you fool.

Have the creativity to come up with a good story (the tortoise and the hare, for example), write the damned thing (oh, I forgot, people don’t read… you’re right, they don’t read the crap you’re pushing) and then present it to the world, knowing full well that some will love it, some will hate it. Fine.

But have the courage of your convictions and learn to live with the concept that not everyone loves you. You’re trying to capture a share of the market, not the entire market (not just yet) not the entire city or country or continent.

"Oh we can’t do that” was probably the cry of the first company prodded to advertise on TV or radio… or place their product in a movie… or use a billboard… always, always it’s NO,NO,NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Face it you coward: it’s not that, “We can’t do that,” it’s that you’re too chicken to do it… and marketing is no place for the faint of heart.

Those who push facts do so because they don't have the creativity and vision to tell a story.