In our quest for acceptance – face it, we all want people to like our work – and our chase for the almighty dollar, we put up with a lot from clients. That’s the nature of how we work; and clients have a right to be satisfied when they’re footing the bill.
But then there’s that one client from hell.
1. He/she is a smaller account in terms of money spent
2. Always, always bitches about costs, even if you’re under budget
3. Thinks he knows how to write or design… probably both…
4. …Or his wife or child or roommate or last night’s hookup knows more about your job than you do (“My wife was an English major and she thinks that…” I don’t give a rat’s a_s.)
5. Can’t make up his mind or her mind, so the job constantly changes… work you do has to be redone again and again and again…
6. ... But should you bill for that extra time (even though you have the approval sheet), they'll be hell to pay
7. …And yet he’s angry that it’s taking so long
8. Calls or emails incessantly… again don’t dare bill him for the hours it takes to explain, for the third time, what you’ve done
9. Etc., etc., etc.
Got the picture? The individual’s problem is two-fold, maybe three-fold: A. he thinks the world is out to screw him so he’s always on guard; B. he has no concept of creativity, what it takes to turn a blank sheet of paper into something that sells. Instead, like a lot of people, he doesn’t create he criticizes, and then blames you if he hates it and credits himself if it meets his standard ("I had to ride those guys like crazy to get what I want"); C. he/she is a narcissistic control freak who loves to show who’s in charge – it’s all about him and you’re a bit actor in his life’s drama.
In my advancing years, I’ve learned to tell all hellish clients to, as Blackadder says, “sod off and die.” Unless you need to pay your rent, please, please run away. Don’t suffer fools. In the end, they're costing you creativity, time, sanity and money. Use the hours you’d spend trying to placate hellish clients and look for more work... or do an even better job for a client who appreciates the effort.
Creativity is rare and it’s sensitive – easily lost, in my opinion. And there's only so much to go around before you're exhausted.
Give in to the hellish client, let him/her jade your behavior with other customers, and he’s taken everything. You can’t mistreat other clients because one ass has you ready to put your fist through the new Mac monitor. You can’t let fools rub away your brightness… or take away your muchness.
Tell these tyrants in a short, sweet, curt manner: "You’re not worth the effort; I will never work for you again."
And then as Joe Walsh would say, “Walk Away.” In my case, I usually add an expletive or two, and that’s not right. I’m trying to break a decades-long habit… son of a…
