What a week for the fried chicken queen. And let me say up
front that I have used Ms. Deen’s catering service and the food was wonderful! Amazing fried chicken, some of the best I’ve ever had; and I’m no rookie when it comes to chicken
and greens and grits. I’ve been married to an Alabama woman for 40 years whose
mom is a first-rate, classic southern cook.
With that confession, I’ll also admit that I don’t like
Paula’s persona, or anyone who makes a living being ‘southern’ or ‘a NYC wise
guy’ or ‘a cynical New Englander’. I dislike all of that regionalist shtick.
We’re Americans, ain’t we? Ms. Deen, and all who make a living exaggerating local eccentricities, are simplistic caricatures, at best, and almost instantly boring (like the blue
collar comedians – they start out funny then fizzle out altogether and do
Prilosec commercials, y’all).
But Ms. Deen has been given a cruel beating for no reason,
other than she’s a loud southern woman and we don’t like that. First, let’s be
honest – how many times in our lives have we used the N-word? (And the word is nigger,
why can’t we say it in context? What are we afraid of?)
In my lifetime, hundreds: it was a common and ignorant term in the 60s
and 70s. Yes, we’ve thankfully
overcome some hurtful talk, but don’t ask Ms. Deen and those of her age to rewrite history. And isn’t
that what the media is doing? Matt Lauer’s question about how many times she
said ‘nigger’ is childish and inflammatory and almost requires Ms. Deen to lie.
‘Hey Matt, how many times have you said the N-word? Or Jew? Or dago? Or towel head? Or cracker?’ How many polocks does it take to change a
light bulb? How do you get an Italian girl pregnant? These derogatory words and jokes are rampant among all colors and creeds…
that’s not a good thing, just a fact. (Again, as a culture we are
getting better at this, more sensitive to other’s feeling, less fearful.)
But now the media judges Ms. Deen to be racist? You
duplicitous bastards!
Here's what really gets me angry: from a marketing perspective I loath the PR companies
and ‘experts’ who are filling the airways with cowardly advice for Ms. Deen:
“Be repentant, say you’re sorry, swallow your pride, etc., etc., etc.” Bull.
What did all of that get her, including the tears, after the Lauer interview? Nothing.
Some jackass from a reputation management company in
California was on CNN pontificating about how Ms. Deen should atone for her
N-word sin. Worst advice ever.
Here is mine: Don’t apologize. If you’ve hurt anyone’s
feelings, you’re sorry, but feelings are easily hurt and angry people can’t
really be helped.
Say this: “As a woman who grew up in the South, I
occasionally used the word – as do both black and white employees in my
restaurants… but only occasionally. I’m over 65 years old; if I’ve used the
word 50 times it’s less than once a year.
“Look at the bulk of my employees, black and white… they
haven’t claimed racism in the 25 years I’ve been in business. Explain that.
“I’m a cook, not a political figure – I have no need to be
politically correct, only to treat people as I wish to be treated. Call me a
redneck bitch, I don’t care. I don’t bring lawsuits; I don’t claim you’ve hurt
me at some deep level. And I don’t think that makes you prejudiced against women or
the south. Rather, it makes you human and we’re all ignorant and angry at one time
or another... like when someone has a gun to your head."
Case closed. The more she apologizes and cries and plays
‘queen for a day’ the longer this beating will last… the more people will kick her when
she’s down… the longer this episode will define her career.
And ultimately, how can Ms. Deen be hurt? She has millions.
Her followers will give her more support, not less. Those who didn’t like her
(I’m one) might begin to feel some sympathy (I do).
Paula, please… stop listening to these reputation sissies
who always ask you to be humble… who demand an apology. Heroes don’t apologize…
and you are a heroic, single mom entrepreneur who took her limited talents and
built them into an empire.
Good for you. You have created something, which is more than
anyone can say for the Matt Lauer’s of the world who have no creative talent other than the back seat driving skills to criticize.
“Matt, you’re not fair and you can’t hurt me… so ask an
intelligent question or please shut up.”
Better yet, stay off of that insipid show. (Next on The
Today Show… sensible shoes for summer!)
What whores these media people be.
